


I saw her standing there

by Xairathan



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: Asukyu - Freeform, F/F, of course it's asukyu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 13:06:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10514349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xairathan/pseuds/Xairathan
Summary: Based on a short comic drawn by taloyo, focusing on Asuka and Rei-Q in the desert.





	

They've been trekking through the desert for days now: Asuka, Shinji, and the Ayanami-type that won't leave them alone. Asuka doesn't quite know what to make of her; she's regarded the clone before with something like contempt mixed with pity, but now she's growing on Asuka. Perhaps it's because she look like Rei- no, that's 99% of it right there- so what's that last 1%?

Ayanami walks up beside Asuka, and their feet hit the rocky earth in unison. Shinji is a step behind, his strides long but uneven. He figured out walking by himself a while back, but doing anything except following, sleeping, and eating is asking too much of him.

Here's one good thing about having Ayanami along- Asuka has someone she can delegate to be Shinji's babysitter. Ayanami is much easier to keep an eye on, anyway. She doesn't do anything, doesn't even speak. Neither does Shinji.

It's quite boring, really.

Asuka heaves a sigh that passes for another gust of the wind. Neither of her companions react. They never do. Asuka's wondered what might happen if she just up and left them on their own, but no, that'll never do. If she comes back having left Shinji behind, knowingly, Misato would-

She doesn't know what Misato would do. She's never thought that far ahead.

There's a scraping noise, a shuffling of feet. Asuka turns, and it's not Shinji; he hasn't fallen down (again), it's the Ayanami-type that's stopped at the base of the hill with an odd look on her face. This time, her eyes are locked on Asuka's face, rather than the desert or the sky.

"Yeah?" Asuka says, stopping halfway up the hill. Atop it, Shinji realizes he's no longer near anyone and stands rigid, waiting.

"Asuka." The clone speaks at last. Her voice is hoarse; her throat must be dry and she hasn't spoken in days, but even so her tone is soft and she sounds exactly like Rei. Asuka's stomach flips, lands unevenly, and there's a lump in her throat that just won't leave. She doesn't dignify this with a verbal response, but she does tilt her head, indicating she's heard Ayanami.

Ayanami looks at the ground, her eyes defocusing. It appears that just saying Asuka's name has taken everything out of her, and Asuka wouldn't be surprised if she kept standing there for the next few hours, recharging. Then Ayanami looks up, and it's like she's somehow shrunk in between those two motions; even her voice seems smaller as she says, "May I hold your hand?"

That's a question Asuka should laugh at, but she can't bring herself to, doesn't muster up anything more than a long, confused pause between breaths. The idea- it can't be entirely Ayanami's; she must've seen Asuka holding Shinji's hand during the first two days and decided she wants to try it out, too. Briefly Asuka entertains the idea- slender fingers between hers, a warm palm, the tangible proof of some form of closeness. It plagues her, these kinds of thoughts Asuka would've had fourteen years ago about a blue-haired girl in a white plugsuit. Her hand twitches. She's had all this time to leave the old world behind, but parts of it still manage to find her and make her weak.

She should ask why; she should say no. Ayanami could still be the enemy, a spy. Asuka's eye surveys the clone, her head bowed and shoulders hunched. She remembers the image of that in herself, a fresh patch of gauze over her eye and a hospital gown hanging from bony shoulders. You can't be a spy if you don't believe in your cause, and right now it looks like Ayanami doesn't believe in anything.

Sand crunches. Ayanami's taken the silence as a no; she's started up the hill with slow, measured steps. Shinji turns around as Ayanami passes him, follows her like a lost puppy. They're both lost, Asuka thinks; no, they all are. She doesn't know where WILLE is, how long it'll take for them to be found, if WILLE's even looking.

Asuka jogs up the hill and catches up with the others on the way down. Shinji's begun to lag behind, as usual. Asuka brushes past him, darts next to Ayanami, hooks their little fingers together. The clone looks down, surprised- puzzled, maybe? She looks like she might want to say something, but that passes quickly, and her face settles into a smile. It's miniscule, and if Asuka hadn't been stuck with her for so long, she might not have noticed it at all.

But it's a smile, that's unmistakable. For once Asuka can't recognize the clone immediately; there's that little difference- she doesn't have a memory of Rei smiling to compare this to. The rest of her fingers find Ayanami's, wrap around them of their own accord. The smile disappears, and Rei's back, but just for a second. Ayanami smiles again, wider, and it's like a miniature sun has popped up nearby and flooded Asuka's body with warmth.

She hears Shinji stop behind them- he's waiting for them to move again. He can wait a little longer, Asuka thinks. She's waited fourteen years for something like this: her name, their hands, that smile.

This feeling of no longer being alone.

"Alright," Asuka says, finally tearing her eyes from Ayanami's face. This isn't the time to get sappy. "We should keep going."

She turns to begin ascending the next hill. Ayanami's foot hits the ground at the same time Asuka's does. Without stopping, Asuka glances at her, and is met with Ayanami's unwavering gaze. She goes to squeeze her hand, and there's a pressure gripping back. 

**Author's Note:**

> http://taloyo.tumblr.com/post/158884794385
> 
> Here's taloyo's comic \o /


End file.
